It was another sleepless night that led to this terrible saga of words and text. I've recently started reading Hunter S. Thompson's Hell's Angels, and I think it best to express to you all that it is most definitely an excellent book to read.
But this isn't what's been keeping me up. The fact is, I have no idea. I have mere speculations, which is annoying, as speculation doesn't really soothe the mind, it only leads to more troubled thoughts which increases the speculation and it snowballs from there.
Optimism is in the air again, and this worries me greatly. My mind doesn't handle optimism well. I'm fine with pessimism, it's easy to shake off and ignore, and indifference gives me the equal playing field I need for hurling myself at my interests. Optimism, on the other hand, carries with it a fear of falling. It's the darker side to it most people ignore and when they experience it they usually swear against becoming optimistic ever again. I enjoy optimism in the same fashion as one would enjoy crucifixion. Sure, it makes a great symbol for other people, but it sucks being the one with the nails in your body.
But I'm not ready to embrace some form of nihilism either. Rather, I'd prefer to keep an open mind as far as possible. Screw negativity along with positivity. I remain indifferent so I can embrace the negativity of a fight, or the positive light in a conversation.
Perhaps this is what's been keeping me up all night so far. Or perhaps I've got some bug I need to sort out. All I can say is, Vamos!
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