I'm never truly miserable. There is always a reason why I am depressed and I can to an extend trace it down. Depression is a temporary state of being, and most people have forgotten this it seems. Pills cure diseases. Death is avoidable, to an extent, so why should feeling blue not be?
This generation is subjugated to drugs rather quickly, I think. I'm personally terrified of the blank stares, the general lack of 'soul', if you will, in this world. The eyes are stale, stagnating and clear of thought. Words lack flavour, their intent is routine and managed by the social Zeitgeist. There is no thinking involved. It's all left-right-left-right. Going through the motions, rather than actually fully participating in them.
There seems to be this ideology growing that it is completely undesirable to feel any pain whatsoever. Fine, yes, depressions sucks, but fuck it, at least it's a goddamn emotion. If you want a salary you have to work for it. If you want to girl you have to muster up the courage to ask her out. This is all rather pathetic. It's denial. I am not saying embrace depression and be depressed all the time; rather accept it as a part of your life and through creative means try to manage it. Management is the word here, because we fluctuate between moments of bliss, misery and in-between flights of being. The only reason why I don't croak myself is because I know it gets better after a while. Nothing lasts forever, and thank Mikhail for that.
Recently I have been told by a close friend that I need to either see a Psychiatrist or seek anti-depressants. Now, the thing is I will do neither. I have seen Psychiatrist, and honestly it doesn't work for me. I'm better off on my own in that extend, because I do on my own what I do with Psychiatrist anyway. I have my own insights, epiphanies, and so on. I can argue, debate and converse with myself. I don't need to chuck a sum of money at someone to do that. Thanks, but no thanks.
And the pill thing scares me, honestly. I will not deny my sadness at the cost of my happiness. Pills don't remove the problem, unless the problem is a chemical one. Bi-polar people need not worry; this is not an attack on you. Taking pills because you're a Bi-polar 'victim' is like taking painkillers because you suffer from a broken leg. Sure, there's other ways too, but pills work.
So, why do I have such a problem with anti-depressants then? Well, first off, it's too often an early and unneeded solution. Oh, I'm sad, pop a pill. No, I will not do this. We are too trigger happy with our pills. Call it premature ejaculation, or shooting without asking questions first. It's all the same. It does not solve the problem; it does not look at the issue at hand and ask why? All it does is drown out. I have been told there is no shame in taking anti-depressants. Of course there is no shame, you had no choice. You had a gloomy day so pop up, shoot up and drop out. Fuck, that is over reacting to a response to the situation.
Secondly, I enjoy being in-tune with the world. Drugs are to humans what autotune is to music. It creates an artificial being. And make no mistake, all these beauty products are also drugs. Fake and plastic are words often used, but I would like to replace them with my own; deceitful. When I use the word in-tune I am talking about the proper response to a situation or scenario. Now, this proper response may be called something or assumed to be a response of pure politeness, or something along those lines. You act correctly. No, I don't believe this. The proper response is the response that is uniquely your own. Our actions speak for; we show the world who we are through speech, deed and response. We need to be a part of our action. How do we respond properly when we are too drugged out and numb to even know ourselves?
Fuck, no. I'm not taking pills to drown out myself. This is a choice between two evils. I can either accept and tolerate my misery (that only rears its ugly head every now and again) or I can choose to lose myself completely and follow the mob. I'm going with the drug free option here. I need to be myself; I need my creativity, because my creativity relies on my ability to understand the situation, to see the proper response. I need to be in-tune with myself as an agent in the world, and not as some numb, dumb, deaf and blind spiritual leper. I refuse to be an emotional cripple. I'll brace the storm and enjoy the ride. You have to. Buy the ticket, take the ride and watch the swine chase you through life. This is the curse of Rondo, but hey, it's going to be fun. We got no flag, got no home, and this is the army of none. Every man, woman and idiot for themselves.
But as always, unto each his own
This generation is subjugated to drugs rather quickly, I think. I'm personally terrified of the blank stares, the general lack of 'soul', if you will, in this world. The eyes are stale, stagnating and clear of thought. Words lack flavour, their intent is routine and managed by the social Zeitgeist. There is no thinking involved. It's all left-right-left-right. Going through the motions, rather than actually fully participating in them.
There seems to be this ideology growing that it is completely undesirable to feel any pain whatsoever. Fine, yes, depressions sucks, but fuck it, at least it's a goddamn emotion. If you want a salary you have to work for it. If you want to girl you have to muster up the courage to ask her out. This is all rather pathetic. It's denial. I am not saying embrace depression and be depressed all the time; rather accept it as a part of your life and through creative means try to manage it. Management is the word here, because we fluctuate between moments of bliss, misery and in-between flights of being. The only reason why I don't croak myself is because I know it gets better after a while. Nothing lasts forever, and thank Mikhail for that.
Recently I have been told by a close friend that I need to either see a Psychiatrist or seek anti-depressants. Now, the thing is I will do neither. I have seen Psychiatrist, and honestly it doesn't work for me. I'm better off on my own in that extend, because I do on my own what I do with Psychiatrist anyway. I have my own insights, epiphanies, and so on. I can argue, debate and converse with myself. I don't need to chuck a sum of money at someone to do that. Thanks, but no thanks.
And the pill thing scares me, honestly. I will not deny my sadness at the cost of my happiness. Pills don't remove the problem, unless the problem is a chemical one. Bi-polar people need not worry; this is not an attack on you. Taking pills because you're a Bi-polar 'victim' is like taking painkillers because you suffer from a broken leg. Sure, there's other ways too, but pills work.
So, why do I have such a problem with anti-depressants then? Well, first off, it's too often an early and unneeded solution. Oh, I'm sad, pop a pill. No, I will not do this. We are too trigger happy with our pills. Call it premature ejaculation, or shooting without asking questions first. It's all the same. It does not solve the problem; it does not look at the issue at hand and ask why? All it does is drown out. I have been told there is no shame in taking anti-depressants. Of course there is no shame, you had no choice. You had a gloomy day so pop up, shoot up and drop out. Fuck, that is over reacting to a response to the situation.
Secondly, I enjoy being in-tune with the world. Drugs are to humans what autotune is to music. It creates an artificial being. And make no mistake, all these beauty products are also drugs. Fake and plastic are words often used, but I would like to replace them with my own; deceitful. When I use the word in-tune I am talking about the proper response to a situation or scenario. Now, this proper response may be called something or assumed to be a response of pure politeness, or something along those lines. You act correctly. No, I don't believe this. The proper response is the response that is uniquely your own. Our actions speak for; we show the world who we are through speech, deed and response. We need to be a part of our action. How do we respond properly when we are too drugged out and numb to even know ourselves?
Fuck, no. I'm not taking pills to drown out myself. This is a choice between two evils. I can either accept and tolerate my misery (that only rears its ugly head every now and again) or I can choose to lose myself completely and follow the mob. I'm going with the drug free option here. I need to be myself; I need my creativity, because my creativity relies on my ability to understand the situation, to see the proper response. I need to be in-tune with myself as an agent in the world, and not as some numb, dumb, deaf and blind spiritual leper. I refuse to be an emotional cripple. I'll brace the storm and enjoy the ride. You have to. Buy the ticket, take the ride and watch the swine chase you through life. This is the curse of Rondo, but hey, it's going to be fun. We got no flag, got no home, and this is the army of none. Every man, woman and idiot for themselves.
But as always, unto each his own
